"Most people believe vulnerability is weakness. But really, vulnerability is courage. We must ask ourselves… are we willing to show up and be seen?" ~ Brene Brown
What makes you feel vulnerable?
Being called out
Being in front of people you don't know
Staying true to self when you want one thing and know the other person wants something else
Expressing feelings/ being honest
Giving up control
Asking for help
New situations - and getting to know new people
Being judged for needing help
When subject to opinions of others
How do you define vulnerability?
Weakness
Exposing self - to criticism/approval
Putting yourself out there
Being open and honest
How do you AVOID feeling vulnerable?
Staying in the house
Changing the subject
Pretending you have it all together
Acting like you're in control when you're not
Numbing behaviors
Humor
Cleaning/tasks
Self deprication
Forced extroversion - being "on" instead of authentic
Is vulnerability necessary?
"Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness but it appears it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love." ~Brene Brown
Yes - to have real relationships
Without it - you're missing out on something deeper
Hand in hand with authenticity
Closer to people
Can't have amazing relationships without it
Don't want a relationship that doesn't have it
Negative Aspects of Vulnerability
As a kid - put down, humiliated for being vulnerability
Led to fear of criticism
Struggle to let guard down
Getting to a point where you don't care what others think
Risking rejection
Learning as a child to suppress emotions
Relationships that reflect back what you need to work on
Get back more of how you are showing up
Asking for help
Being honest about how things are going
What is our responsibility to initiate the conversation?
We all bring our strengths and weaknesses to relationships
When you open up, someone else opens up
Encouraging vulnerability by being accepting/empathetic
Modeling
Gentle nudge
Being open to other people's thoughts
Family - insisting on saying "I Love You"
Discomfort with saying the word
Strategies for feeling your way THROUGH vulnerability
Take a risk or you don't grow
If it scares you / feels uncomfortable - you probably need to do it
Breathing exercise
Breathe in through nose, out through mouth - air leaving body is anxiety leaving body, imagine it as a color
Meditation
Visualization
Phone a friend
Initiating conversation by stating your vulnerability
"I'm feeling really vulnerable/uncomfortable about what I'm about to say."
Writing (journaling)
Write letters
(Writing can be misconstrued by other person)
Writing as a discovery tool
Do you believe that what makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful?
Narrative of how you're modeling to your children
Vulnerability allows you to relax - relaxing = being more present / makes yourself more beautiful
How does being vulnerable in our own lives contribute to global wellness? What is the impact outside of ourselves/our individual wholeheartedness/happiness?
Inspiring others
Responsibility to have an impact
Need to put yourself out there for sake of global change
Vulnerability is not just about self
Struggle with impatience with others
Not wanting to see the part of you that's like her/him
Help others from acting out
Tolerance
Everyone is unique - we make fun of people who are different
If we are real with others - they feel like they can be real too
Ripple effect
Be involved - community, school
Volunteering
Final Thought
Like hearing how others deal - use things in own life
Tolerance - working on being more tolerant as others are being vulnerable with me
Be with other like minded people is great - knowing you're not the only one
Leaving here and making a difference - working on yourself inspires others to grow
Appreciate others talking about courage
Vulnerability is pervasive
"Vulnerability is not knowing a victory or defeat, it's understanding the necessity of both; it's engaging. It's being all in." ~ Brene Brown